I’ve learned a lot over the past few months, but no lesson has been as glaring as the simple fact that people are ridiculously angry.

What’s worse is that if you get upset about the “trolling” from other people, it’s your fault. It’s no longer socially acceptable to be angry at people for attacking you. The definition of standing up for yourself has become “take insults and ignore them completely, and allow other people to take a swing at your reputation.”

And honestly none of this would bother me if we actually had reasons to be mad. Just consider this:

Half of Your Problems Would Disappear if You Read instead of Skimming

People write documentation and summaries so that they will be read, and hopefully, understood. Please don’t email a blogger asking for a service without seeing what their terms are, and then get enraged about it. In fact, if you read you would find:

• Frequently asked questions are answered.
• The terms and available services of the person you’re trying to contact.
• Who to call if you’re having a problem.
• The progress of the service/product you want to purchase.
• Hours of operation for businesses.
• So much more!

I love reading, and if you spend all day at your laptop, a couple of extra seconds to skim a services listing isn’t going to take up too much of your time. It will actually save you the time of being enraged about not knowing something.

Like the fact that web design costs $500, not $35…

Tech Support is Not Instant. People need time to answer questions.

Support not returning your email within 30 minutes of posting it is not really a reason to complain. Wait an hour and see what happens. It takes time to isolate and correct a problem. It also takes time to craft a response to a question and decide on the best approach and the best way to explain that approach.

Of course this effort is hindered by people who go beyond simple frustration into fits of rage over problems that take perhaps five minutes to fix. Or better yet, people who go into fits of rage because the solution provided is not how they thought the software they can’t get to work in the first place should work…

When you ask a question, be polite about it. Please?

New Technology Has New Problems

If your solar-powered shoes don’t work as well during night time or a cloudy day, please don’t start flaming the creators. When your prototype cell-phone suddenly bursts into flames remember: it’s a prototype. New tech has new problems. Some of those problems cannot be fixed instantaneously.

Getting angry at the creator because the entirely new interface is not quite as amazing as you envisioned your shiny new gadget to be is irrational. Getting mad at the people trying to help you is also irrational. Calm down, read the documentation, and ask for help. Nobody is going to yell at you for asking for help. I promise.

We Don’t Get Paid to Write, and if We Do, It’s Not a Lot

Someone can only type so fast, and most bloggers don’t get paid to write. If the content you want doesn’t exist, request it. Bloggers will periodically ask the specific question “what do you want to know?” If they aren’t asking it right this instant, don’t just sit there and sulk. There’s no harm in contacting someone.

Just be nice about it! I actually read this week about someone threatening to flame a blogger if they didn’t post. What the heck!?

Wordpress Themes are Not Religions. Stop Trying to Smite One Another.

I don’t care about theme competition. Just because I use Headway doesn’t mean I think Thesis users are the scum of the earth. Just because somebody uses woothemes doesn’t mean I think they’re professional. A wordpress theme is not a religion. “Converting” will not make you a better or worse person.

My favorite quote from last year?

“I don’t like Thesis.”

“That’s like saying you don’t like air.”

No…I can survive without a blog theme. I could survive without blogging. I could probably survive without the internet…I understand that these companies want to make money. But they’re “followers” need to calm the hell down. Speaking of competition…

If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Join ‘Em…Or Join Them at the Beginning and Beat Everybody Else.

Competition is when two organisms go after the same resource. Online, that means that two people in the same niche are automatically at war…wait…what?

Competition is mutual. If you’re competing with me, I’m probably not competing with you. In fact, I really don’t care if you’re trying to beat me. I’m too busy trying to beat myself.

My band director always told me that we should focus on improving ourselves. If someone is better than you, they are. To that effect, why would you want to waste the time and energy worrying about other people when you could be developing a better version of your product, or building a better name for yourself?

Let me tell you about my “competition.” I bought out one of the websites and made friends with the owner of the other. As new sites pop up in my niche, I’ll make friends with them too. Stop worrying about what other people are doing!

When You’re Angry, Try to Calm Down

Frustration happens. I know. I get frustrated constantly. However, flying off the handle, demanding attention, and putting the blame on others before even looking for a plausible solution is not going to make anybody rush to help you. It’s a two-way path. I really wish we could all just…get along.